Entry Twenty: A Virus

Change of plans. . .

So, I planned on going home today but I’m actually quite sick with a virus. . . It’s been so long since I’ve felt this way.

I used to be sick every week for over a year. It was miserable, and I had almost forgotten what it felt like. I literally thought I was going to die when I started puking stomach acid. But, then I remembered that was normal when I got sick.

But I was scared nonetheless.

Ike and Jake took care of me, though. They washed my face after every time I puked all over their yard. They rubbed my hair as I laid on the floor curled up into a ball. They comforted me even though I stank and was having bile come out of me.

They are good friends. True friends.

I was also worried about the baby like any mother would be. . . But, Ike assured me that my baby will be fine through it all. He explained how most women do get morning sickness throughout their pregnancy.

I think it was something I caught sometime in between the house and coming to Ike’s place.

I did learn something new about myself. Apparently, I cry when I puke, which is disgusting but true nonetheless.

Hold on a sec.

Okay, I’m back, but I need to wrap this up.

This is how you know you have a true friend.

If they see you at your worst and still treat you like an equal, then you know you have a friend for life.

Stay true to yourself!

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson

Entry Negative Three: New Changes

So, Pierson disappeared yesterday after Ellie revealed the BIG news. . . First off, I want to tell you how EXCITED I am that I’m going to be a father again, but secondly, I’m so worried about my wife.

I know that I should’ve stood up for her.

I talked to Cooper and he explained everything that they’ve been doing. I should have never doubted my wife; I should’ve known that she has too pure of a heart to even think of cheating on me, but I believed Jones instead. . .

Now, I have no idea of where she is, but I PROMISE to you now that when she gets back, this household will be whipped back into shape.

I am the head of this home. I will control my father and I will hold the reins tightly on my wife’s uncle, because she’s too mildly-tempered to stand up to him.

And, most of all, I will devout time out of my day to spend with my wife. I will no longer put my work above her! Never AGAIN! She is my world, and next to God, she’s what I live for!

Oh, Aba, keep my wife and baby safe from all harm! I pray as your servant and as your son, please protect my family, wherever they are! Send angels to watch over them. Amen!

Come home soon, Pierson!

Your Loving Husband,

Emerson

Entry Nineteen: PREGNANT!

Continuation. . .

So, my secret was out. I had kept my pregnancy a secret for three months, except from Ellie. But, she already had known before I told her.

After Ellie screamed the news at everyone, they became silent. No one said a word for like full minutes, which scared me, so I allowed Ellie to stand me up before I began to explain everything.

I stared directly at my uncle and told him that the twenty extra pounds I had gained was from the growing baby inside of me. I told him that I ate excessively because I was drastically losing weight a week ago and I knew that was bad since I was in my second trimester.

I told them that the reason I was trying to get out of the house, the reason I had snuck food, the reason I had refused to change myself was because I had to think of the life I am carrying in my body.

I then walked over to my husband and gently grasped his hand. I gazed into his eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry you found out this way. I wanted it to be special for you.”

Then, I left the room.

No one followed. No one said a word until I was gone. . . I suspect that Ellie may had chewed them out, which they honestly deserve after what I endured.

I left the house and went to my friends’ house, who are ex-slaves as well. And, I told them the good news.

They were excited, of course, but I couldn’t help but feel like I let Emerson down because I couldn’t be the “princess” he deserved.

I’m writing this from my friends’ home in the middle of nowhere. I don’t think I will return tomorrow. I’ll let my family cool off.

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

Entry Eighteen: It’s A. . .

Surprise. . .

So, today didn’t go so well.

I left home to clear my head, but after several hours, Cooper found me and brought me back to the house.

And I know what you’re thinking. I know I’m not a little girl anymore and running away is never the answer. But, I wouldn’t consider it running away if I don’t have the intentions of leaving home forever. I was just trying to absorb everything in, taking in everything that has happened.

So, I came back with Cooper and when we went inside the house, everyone was there in a line, waiting for us. David, Piper, Carson, London, Uncle Birch, and Emerson. And, Ellie was hanging back in the shadows.

Cooper tried to shield me from their words but that actually seemed to make the situation worse.

Now, when I tell you what happened, keep in mind that I’m wearing a corset designed to suck in my “fat,” and several layers of skirts, weighing close to thirty pounds.

So, my first blow came from David, which created a chain reaction of insults. (When I say “blow,” I mean an emotional blow, not a physical attack.)

I was basically accused of not being worthy of the dirt I walk on. Then I was told that I was a “no good excuse for a lady.” And David and my uncle continued to insult me until I felt like the scum of the earth. Everyone else remained silent, including my husband.

Then, I did something that I couldn’t quite remember until Ellie explained it to me. . .

I fainted.

It wasn’t one of those delicate faints; it was a hard, painful fall because no one knew to catch me.

I woke up a few seconds later to find Ellie hovering over my body after ripping the back of my dress open. I know it sounds weird, and the sudden movement even scared me until I realized why she did it.

She was unlacing the corset and removing it from my frail body. Then she helped me redress.

Everyone was screaming at me, at Ellie. That is, until Ellie screamed LOUDER in response to my uncle’s question, “Why did she faint?!”

Never before had I heard the elderly woman yell so intensely until I heard Ellie yell the words, “BECAUSE SHE’S PREGNANT, YOU FOOL!!!”

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

Entry Seventeen: Feast of Trumpets

Time to party!

So, today is the first day of the Feast of Trumpets. If you don’t know what that is, it is one of my favorite times of the year! But since I married Emerson, we haven’t really celebrated the feasts in the ways I used to as a kid or as a slave. . .

So, Cooper and I actually snuck out of the house early this morning and went into the city to watch the kids play in the streets, jumping and leaping with joy as the men blow trumpets and ram’s horns.

This is one of the seven feasts that we share with our neighboring countries, which also means that three countries are celebrating today, not just one.

The Feast of Trumpets is seen as a warning call to God’s people, reminding them of His return. It’s a time of joy, a time to celebrate, a time to cease work. . .

So, Cooper and I joined in on the celebration because one of the orphans, Charity, FORCED us to join the dancers! But, it felt AMAZING to be back among the people.

And thanks to my uncle, nobody recognized me because of my new “look.”

Anyway, it was a peaceful gathering of people of ALL classes, races, and backgrounds coming together to enjoy the feast’s celebrations.

I’ve always been able to forget my past on such occasions. The feasts have allowed me to focus on God rather than my current situation, which I’m thankful for. . .

However, my uncle was irate when Cooper and I slipped back into the house.

He keeps getting the wrong idea about us, or maybe he’s trying to do it on purpose. . . I don’t know, but my uncle keeps implying that I’m growing “too attached” to Cooper. He has almost even accused us of having an affair behind Emerson’s back!

The thing is, he’s like the older brother I never had. THAT’S IT. Period. Nothing more. Nothing less.

It’s hard living like we do, and having no personal friends. So, we’re forced to make friends within our family. And, my husband is my best friend, but he has taken up so much more responsibility due to his position in the country. . .

I don’t hold it against him. I just wish we could spend the special holy days together.

After all, God put the feasts in motion for us to REST and RELAX, but Emerson doesn’t see it like that, at least not yet. . .

I saw the little boy again today! He was playing with the children. . . I’m going to find out more about him soon.

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

Entry Sixteen: Slice of HEAVEN

Yes!

You will not believe what I am doing right now!!!

I am eating CHEESECAKE while everyone is sleeping! It is sooooooo GOOD! I can’t remember the last time I ate cheesecake!!!

Picture this, a seventeen-year-old girl hiding in her room with the door locked, soundlessly devouring an apple crisp flavored cheesecake slice while the entire house is silent with sleep.

Yep! That’s what I’m doing right now! But don’t tell anyone because I’m pretty sure my uncle would freak out. . .

No joke! Ellie, our chef, made me a smoothie with wild berries and strawberries and blackberries and blueberries and it was DELICIOUS!

I’m sure y’all know the aftertaste you get when you eat one of those store-bought cakes with whipped icing. My smoothie literally had that same aftertaste and caused memories of good times to resurface. We ate cake like that, whether it was for a birthday celebration or a wedding or a feast!

Happy memories. . . Some I could use right now when my life feels like it’s crumbling apart, but I haven’t lost hope. . .

I’m beginning to view Cooper more as a friend instead of family, which is good because my family isn’t exactly treating me right. Cooper and Piper have been my support system since my uncle changed my appearance. Emerson has been too busy lately to interfere on my behalf, so Cooper has been stepping up to the plate, which I’m deeply grateful for.

I never imagined that when I married, I’d gain such friends! That is one of the only changes I’ve appreciated.

When you marry someone, you marry the whole family, so I was lucky when Emerson chose me!

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

Entry Fifteen: They Changed Me

Irritated. . .

So, today I had a family member INFORM me that I no longer can have chocolate. . .

Yep, that’s the day I’m having.

It’s not the fact that he told me I can’t HAVE chocolate; it’s the fact that he was trying to control what I can and cannot eat.

And, that frustrates me.

I get that he means well but when he hatefully tells me that I can’t eat something because people now look up to me and I have to be a good example, that irritates me. . . Who cares what I eat?! It’s my body!

And as I said before, I know that I don’t look like a model. I get that, but I KNOW how I look. . . Ugh! What gives him the right to tell me such a thing?!

First of all, that is super insensitive, and second, it’s none of his business!

Needless to say, I am not on great terms with my uncle right now.

Yeah, I know. He changed when he freed me and now he is the best uncle ever. Well, he was–until he tried to imply that I’m gaining weight or that he doesn’t want me to gain anymore weight.

And not to mention the fact that I’m beginning to gain serious weight because I’m. . . Oh, nevermind.

I just needed someone to vent to.

I may not be a slave anymore, but I’m not living the ideal life either.

They changed ME. They cut my long hair until it barely reaches the bottom of my shoulders, straightening it until my natural curls no longer exist. They now require me to wear heavy makeup so that my complexion is more appealing. I’m forced to wear a corsette so that no one can see my gut. And, I now have a speech therapist because I speak with a southern twang in my voice.

I’m unrecognizable as the old girl I once was. Never let anyone do this to you.

You are perfect just the way you are!

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

Entry Negative Two: Secrets

So, we’ve had to crack down on my wife’s outdoor adventures after she terrified us when a fire broke out near our home. . . and we couldn’t find her.

She has definitely become more quiet and will even avoid me and the rest of the family–except for Piper. Those two seem to be glued together since Carson and London left on a spontaneous vacation.

I’ve also decided that I’m no longer going to read my wife’s past posts because I know she needs some privacy, and someone to vent to.

I KNOW she’s not happy right now. . .

I’ve also noticed that she has become more secretive the last two weeks and I can’t help but wonder if it’s something more than just being angry with us.

I don’t know. Maybe?

Babe, I miss the old you. Please bring her back!

Your Loving Husband,

Emerson

Entry Fourteen: Lockdown

Day 2. . .

So, it’s the second day of my tea diet/fast. If you have never DEPRIVED your body of food, then you could never fully understand how I feel right now. . .

The thing about fasting is that the first day is okay, but the second day is BRUTAL because your body realizes what you’re doing and is trying to make it as difficult on you as possible. But after day two and maybe three, it’s all uphill. Your body eventually adapts to your new routine and begins to eat away your excess fat, which causes you to lose weight.

Anyway, take this into consideration if I sound harsh and blunt. . .

Okay, so now I’ll explain what has been going on since the fire.

First of all, I think I should be able to have some freedom, even if I’m married. I’m putting that out there before I describe my family’s behavior.

Emerson. He almost seems like a prison guard. He’s always watching my every move, always waiting to discover me leaving the property.

David. Emerson’s father. He acts like some of my old masters did. He tries to find a fault, and becomes irate when he can’t find one.

Piper. My only source of compassion. She comforted me after my husband and the rest of her family ganged up on me after the fire, and she has been the only one who has spoken any kindness to me.

I haven’t seen London and Carson in a while either, at least not since Emerson got home. . . So, Piper has been my “buddy” for the past couple of days. We’ve been dodging the family for a couple of days, so I think I have a new best friend, but im not saying that she’s replacing London, of course. . .

I miss the life I had that was less complicated. I knew exactly who I was. A slave.

Now, I’m pretending to be someone important when I’d rather be me. . .

Never let someone change who you are! There’s only one you!

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

Entry Thirteen: FIRE from Hell!

Snuck out again. . .

So, today I woke up SUPER early, and trust me, I am NOT a morning person so it took a lot of effort to do so. I used to be a morning person, but since I got married, there really has been no reason to get up at the crack of dawn, so I’ve kind of slacked off a bit. . .

Anyway, you probably see the title of this and that’s why you’re reading this. So, as I said, I snuck out of the house to go check out that trail again and try to find the builder of that shelter, and well. . . Something happened.

I am fine, so don’t worry about that, but while I was gone, a fire broke out near the house, and when they were taking head counts of everybody, I wasn’t there.

And, Emerson freaked out.

Yeah, I was in big trouble when I got back. You know how when you live with your parents and when you aren’t where you are supposed to be and they freak out and call the fire department just to find you munching on snacks in the back room? It was like that.

And, now, everyone is keeping a close eye on me! I seriously feel like a child again!

Do you remember those stories where the beautiful princess is on lockdown “for her own safety?” Yep. That’s me right now.

So, currently, I’m writing this from a secret room I found behind the bookshelf in Emerson’s study. . .

It’s actually kind of refreshing to have this one spot that nobody else knows about. Anyway, after all that effort to find that person in the woods, I still haven’t found them. And, I probably never will with the way things are going now. Huh.

Well, at least tomorrow is Saturday. . . At least I’ll get out of the house for church.

Church has been my one escape through my pain and suffering and frustration. I doubt anyone knows such about me, but it’s true. Church acts as my anxiety pill. When I go, I am refreshed for the week, and when we don’t go, I am a complete wreck the following week.

Keep that in mind the next time you skip church. It may be the one thing keeping your emotions in check.

Stay tuned for my next post. . .

With Love,

Pierson ♥

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